Men, Work, Friends, Brother, etc.

So my life has been having some CRAZY roller coaster moments!

I have been talking to this guy for about 3 months now ... nothing serious, just friends! We probably text once every 3 weeks!

We have recently started talking more. He told me how he wanted to make our friendship more serious, steady! He wants us to move to the next level!

Yet EVERYTIME I call he NEVER answers! Not a single time I have called him has he answered! NOT ONCE!

He was a nice guy when I first met him ... yet they always are in the beginning! Then they go sour ... at least for me they do!

I mean I am not really out there looking but I am beginning to fall back into my old thoughts "I will NEVER find a boyfriend, I'll never get married, or have kids!!!"

I am 23, which I KNOW is still young, but everyone younger than me and my age and older already has boyfriends/fiances/husbands, kids, the whole 9 yards! I am starting to feel left out! Is that so wrong of me?

I have only ever had 3 boyfriends, and my last one was 3 years ago!

I have dated 2 guys since then but that was it! Nothing serious!

I want to find the guy that I say I love you to and he says it back to me and we tell each other how much we miss each other and have been thinking of them, etc.

I just want love!!! Am I being greedy/impatient?

 

Work has been crazy! Good and bad! I am still looking for new employment! I am considering taking a manager position at payless!

 

I have been going through friends again! People seem to think I will continue to put up with their bullshit! But I won't! I am sick of people thinking I will let them walk all over me! WHAT?!?! Are you insane!

I miss my brother, SO MUCH!!! 2 days until court!!! Tuesday we go to court!

 

Life just seems to get crazy, then it gets good, then it gets crazy again!

I remain very very grateful for everything!!

 

Life as it seems

So I just had to write in here because it has been more than a week and I said I would try to stay in here on a regular basis!

Well I will give you all just a small portion of my update, cuz full version will have you here all day reading ... and I still need to get ready for work lol!

My brother had ran away and was missing for a week and a half!

He ran away because my mom (psycho as we already know) threatened to beat him so bad he wouldn't know what happened to him then she would call the cops and tell them to take him away!

So he got scared and ran away!

Funny part is that when he was missing and 2 days before he was missing I called her and asked for custody and she said to me, "Please don't take him from me, that's my baby. He is the only thing that is keeping me sane!"

UH HELLO!! You just told him you were going to beat him and have him taken away! AND you're already insane so what's the difference lady?!?!

So he was found the beginning of this week and is in lock up right now!

Hunter's probation officer (P.O.) has persuaded my mom to give me custody when Hunter gets out! However, it will ONLY be while he is on probation then he is to return to her! UNLESS I fight her for custody, which I have all intensions to!

I want him to have a bigger better future! Which I don't feel that he can have living with her and her recently ex-fiance and his new girlfriend and her kids!

Yea my moms ex-fiances house sounds like a soap opera or reality show! DISGUSTING!

I did go visit my brother alst night and he was very happy to see me, he had NO idea I was coming! I came around the corner and he was sitting on the bench (it was in their lunch room, so it was on one of those benches in the lunch rooms in high school lol) and when he saw my face he started smiling!

I love my little brother so VERY much! I love him as if he was my own child! I have taken care of him a lot while we were growing up!

 

I am looking for a new job!

I am looking for a new apartment (b/c of my brother)

I guess that is really the small update .. and I really need to get ready lol!!

Blessed!!!

Ok. So why am I blessed?

Why do you think?

I have been thinking lately!

I have so much that sometimes I take for granted!

I have ALL 5 senses in tact still, I am able to support myself, I have my own apartment, my own car, pay all my bills myself, have a wonderful support team! (friends and a few family members)

I have been through so many things since the new year, BUT God still keeps blessing me. Just when I am ready to give up, he blesses me with something else!

There is so much more that I would like to write about this and I will, just not tonight cuz I have been up since 5:30am and I want and need some rest!

I just needed to pop in and say hello and get that off my chest!!

It's one of those "I hate my job" days

Okay so here I am again today. Let's see if I can write in here daily!!! :)

Today I just had one of those I hate my job days!

It is all because of this story that took place Friday evening ...

Starting Thursday I starting feeling sick at payless (my second job).

It was that beginning feeling where you freeze even if it's hot and all your bones hurt in your body!

Well I ignored the feeling since I just thought maybe it was because I was exhausted from working so much and I needed sleep!

So I came home and went to sleep! I started burning up! I couldn't find my thermometer. I finally woke up a little after four and couldn't take it anymore, so I looked all over for the thermometer until i found it and my temperature was 102.4, I took Advil and went to sleep.

Started feeling better in the morning so I went to work again. Started my day at payless 9:45am-1:00pm then I started Piercing Pagoda at 1:30pm. I had a feeling the sickness was going to come back.

So I started calling people to see if they could cover my shift. I called my whole staff and 2 other stores staff. No one would come in!

I started getting really sick. When I stood up I started to shake, my face had NO color, my eyes were extremely bloodshot,my eyes would only open half way, I couldn't remember what happened 2 minutes prior, I had HORRIBLE coughing fits, runny/stuffy nose, while I talked I would start crying (not even like I wanted to, it just came on it's own), and one time I coughed so hard I threw up!

I KNEW my fever was back and there was NO way I could work the rest of my shift out, that had about 5 hours left!

I called my boss who argued with me about leaving. I told her I had no choice, I was physically UNABLE to work any longer and no one would cover my shift so I would have to close the store!

This is where she should have stepped in and took over my shift so I could go home. Instead she argued with me! I finally told her, "Look I don't know what to tell you! I know I'm not allowed to close the store early, nor do I want to but I HAVE to if NO ONE will come in! You will just have to write me up or fire me and if you do I'll be taking the company to court, cuz they can NOT force me to stay here while I am sick!"

I closed the store 1 1/2 hours early!

Went home and went to bed for 36 hours, I was only up to potty, drink, medicine, etc.

I did not eat for 72 hours, I was SO sick!

Not good I know. But I had no desire to even attempt to eat cuz everything hurt!

Well my whole point is, how am I supposed to feel working for a company and co-workers who obviously don't care about my health and illness?

Hello?? (listen as it echos)

~~ Wipes the dust off this old journal that has been sitting here untouched for about 3 months

So I am supposed to be in bed but I came to check on something and read an e-mail from a person that was a regular reader here and I was one of her regular readers.

Which reminded me that I really need to put more time back into my journals! I think of all of you often!

But now that I work 2 jobs it is hard to keep up with anything!

Alot has changed for me the past few months! I will not sit here and bore you with the details!

Major happenings: *my mom went psycho AGAIN cuz her fiance broke up with her (after 13 years) I can't say I blame the guy! She is threatening to take it to public .... UMMM everybody has had a breakup in their life, the public really will not find that story so appealing! What you think?

* I started and stopped selling partylite candles .. all within a month, it was just not for me! I felt like I had no support from the consultant who signed me (my boss from pagoda)

* My mom has told my brother he is not allowed to talk to me anymore!

* I having problems with my ex best friend who owes me $253.11

* I have went to visit my dad in Ohio (I drove)

* Went to visit my best friends family in North Carolina (I drove)

There are many other things but I'll leave it at that for now!!

I just wanted to say hi to everyone!!

I miss you all!!  (whoever still has me on alerts)

Here are a few pics of me recently

 

Muahzz!!!

 

Pouty lips with the curls!!

 

Shopping at the mall in North Carolina (the date on it is wrong, I got a new digital camera & didn't know how to change the date yet lol, it was just last weekend, february 9th)

 

Mommy And baby head to head for kisses! He usually puts his head down like that for "head kisses" but I had lip gloss on so I didn't want to kiss his head and come up with a mouth full of cat hair EWWW!! :(

Never would've thought

So I gotta say two years ago when I started journaling here I never thought I would see the day that I would see my life here where it is at right now!

I prayed to god the other day and just started bawling my eyes out. He has changed my life in so many ways the past 2 years. I am very blessed is all I got to say!

I am such a happier person than I was 2 years and some odd months when I started writing here in what we call j-land!

I am so very very grateful for all that god has offered me!

Okay so what has changed since I was last here a little over 2 weeks ago??

I got my baby ....

my brand new 2007 Chevrolet cobolt sedan ... in the most beautiful color on the market today .... blue granite metallic!!!

*~*~* SIDE NOTE: I WILL HAVE MORE PICTURES LATER!!! *~*~*

I am so happy!!!

Happier than I have EVER been!

I have also realized that I am SO incredibly happy that I am single right now as well!

I have never in my life been so happy about so many things at once!!!!

THANK YOU GOD FOR EVERYTHING YOU HAVE BLESSED ME WITH!!!

I just wanted to tell you all the great news ... some of you might get an e-mail too just because I don't know who still has my alerts on and I know some of you missed my last entry.

I have to get to bed now!!

Thanks for all the love and support as always everyone!!! :)

YAY!!!

So what do you think this entry is about???

 

 

one guess and if you get it wrong ... just click the big white X in the red box,lol

 

 

Because if you don't guess right then you don't know me AT ALL!!!  LOL!!!

 

 

So you picked your single guess???

 

 

You ready?????

 

 

 

 

Ok!!!! Here goes....

 

 

 

I took my drivers test today and .....

 

 

 

 

I PASSED!!!!!!

 

 

YAY!!!

 

So next thursday I am going to look for my car!!!

 

I am so excited!!! 

 

Okay so I really need to go to bed but I just need to tell all of you that because I know all of you wanted to know!!

 

THANKS for cheering for me and all the support!!!

 

LOVE YOU!!