Sunday, August 6, 2006

Last Entry!

Okay so I wanted to write one last entry before I leave for the next few months!

 

I first want to start off by saying thank you to every single one of you for all your kind words, it really touched me and I really appreciate knowing how much all of you care!

 

I will miss J-land I think more than you will miss me!

I will try to go to friends houses or the library to keep in touch!

 

I wanted to tell all of you how much I LOVE my new place ...

Mark even spent the night with me last night .... and did not try for sex!

He was such a gentleman!

 

Well I must start moving more stuff!

I hope to talk to everyone soon!

Friday, August 4, 2006

The BEST Day Of My Life!

Well this damn computer has pissed me off once again ...

I had this LONG entry written with full details of what I wanted to say ...

but I guess I'll give you the short version ...

I got my own apartment ....

I got the keys yesterday and slept there last night ....

I will not have the internet for a while until I can afford to get it ...

I need furniture instead more importantly!

I will be gone for anywhere from 1 month to 2 months ...

I really  do not want to leave but I must .....

If you would like to stay in contact with me , please e-mail me A.S.A.P. and I will give you my address or  phone number!

PLEASE do it immediately though as I will only have internet access here at my parents for the next few days!

I will mainly be at my new place so I will not be on here often but I will check in once and a while when i stop by here when I am off of work to move my things!

I really can not write much more because my computer gives me a short time period before the internet disconnects itself!

PLEASE remember to e-mail me AS SOON AS POSSIBLE if you want to stay in contact!

Thursday, August 3, 2006

Next Step!

Well I am pissed off REALLY bad right now ...

I had this entry written, all but ready to hit that wonderful "save" button and my computer freezes ....

so I am too tired (I can't keep my eyes open) to re-write it all ...

I'll just say the main part ....

Mark and I had our first Kiss last night! :)

 

Look forward to more details soon!

I'll re-write the story soon ... I promise!

Tuesday, August 1, 2006

Making A Major Decision!

Well I am feeling a little bit better ....

I called and made an appointment to look at an apartment on thursday ....

I go at 10am .... Lisa is coming with me!

I am so excited ....

to be out of my parents and taking the next step in my life ....

I feel like a real grown up now! :)

How silly huh?

 

Mark and I have been getting along pretty good .....

he is ready to take our "friendship" to the next level ....

but I want to skip right out of friendship and move to the next level of a relationship with him ...

he said he is not ready to have a girlfriend but he said he does want to make me his g/f just not right now ....

he is focused on other areas of life right now ....

which I told him I fully understand and I am not hurt at all by what is happening!

I told him that when we go to the next level that I want to know that once it is done he will not stop talking to me once he gets what he wants!

He said that he would not do that, and I do believe him but at the same time to me this next step is A BIG thing for me ....

I don't JUST sleep with people! It takes  A LOT for me to sleep with a guy!

He is texting me right now as I type this asking me why I won't!

I get too emotionally attached to guys and sleeping with him but knowing that is it it WAY too hard for me to do ... knowing that it would just be casual sex, it won't work for me, I'll get upset too easily!

GOSH!

I want to be his girl but I guess God will make it happen if and when it is supposed to!

Until then I need to sit here patiently and wait ....

wait for God to make everything happen when the time is right ...

it just hurts right now saying no!

But I know this is the right way to go ...

I know that I can't have friends with benefits ...

I need a boyfriend!

I think that has to do with something from my childhood past that has happened to me, but I will not get into that right now!

God please give me the strength!