Thursday, October 30, 2008
He refuses to turn his partner in though!!!
I have mixed emotions!
I am happy yet scared!
What if the other guy comes and looks for me now?!?!?
I don't know what to think!
I get my company provided counseling this saturday from 3-4pm!
I am happy to be able to have this provided for me!
I really think I need it!!!
I really need to get to bed, but I wanted to update everyone!!
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Life is still a bit crazy here for me ...
In case you don't know ....
I work 2 jobs, raise my 15 year old brother, and I barley have time to breathe.
I plan on writing in here more ... that is on the days I have time to breathe.
This is a really short entry but I just wanted to get started here in my new home!!!
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Have you ever had a moment where you were doing something or something happened and it made you think about your life?
Made you think about how your life has had so many twists and turns?
Made you realize how much you have?
Those kind of moments make me sit back and realize that I have SO much in my life that I used to think I would NEVER have. I owe it all to one person, GOD!
He really has created a GREAT life for me! He really does take care of me too!
I used to be such a depressed, mean, evil, moody, sad, lonely & immature person!
Man oh man have I grown!
And the more I sit back and think about the past 2 years of my life and how much I have grown, I am VERY VERY proud of myself!
Call me conceded if you must! I don't care!
When I think about the routes my life has taken me and where I have come out at, I am surprised!
My life has been amazing!
It's not perfect and it never will be. And I'm ok with that!
My brother and I are doing great!
My mom has decided that she no longer wants to raise Hunter and wants to sign her full rights over!
We are both excited! Sad that it really shows how much she "truly" cares for him. But it is going to be the start of something amazing! I can just feel it!
He is still out of school! I need to call the school in the morning and find out what is going on! I need his butt in school!
I have taken it upon myself to help him with his education while he is out of school! He has trouble reading and spelling the most, so I went to dictionary.com and pulled up word of the day archives and gave him 10 words to learn!
Anyone have any ideas for math, history or science?
It shouldn't be much longer til he is back in school, but I want to keep him on track at the same time!
He has grown a lot already since he has been with me! I am so proud of him! Even though I have to stay on top of him, he is well worth the battle!
He makes me feel like a mom! I give him chores and he does them, I help him with real life situations (Something my mom NEVER did with me), I teach him about life in general (another thing my mom never did with me), I try to be there for him like a mother should be!
I am learning with him. He is on so many medications it's crazy! So we are learning together what they are for and side effects and so on!
The boy is making me change my life even more! Of course for the better ... it's helping me mature more too!
He got his first job today! He starts tomorrow! :) He'll be at the mall working, so it'll be easy for me to give him rides!
He is excited as am I!
Everything is so amazingly well! I couldn't ask for a better life!
God has REALLY REALLY blessed me!!!!!
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Hello there everyone!!
I hope all is well for all of you!
As you can probably already tell from the info. listed above I have received temporary custody of my brother, then the battle for FULL PERMANENT custody begins!
What fun that will be!
Maybe just maybe if my brother straightens up in the 2 months I have him she will see him living with me may be the best thing for him and she will not fight me!
(Let's pray, I know it may be alot to ask, considering the type of woman she is, but hey it's worth a try)
He has been listening to me very well!
We have had appointments out the wazoo! LOL! I think that word is funny!
Children and youth services, family counselor, Probation Officer (P.O.) ... it just never ends. lol!! But he sure is worth all of it!
he is now on house arrest (electronic monitoring) for 30 days. He gets to wear the most gorgeous ankle bracelet! :)
We are moving April 1st to a 2 bed/2 bath apartment! Rent will be going up like crazy, but like I said, anything for my brother is well worth it!
I really need to go to bed, I just wanted to let you all know what was going on!
Thanks for all your love and support!
Monday, March 10, 2008
I can't write too much tonight, I have to be at work by 6am, which means I have to be up at 5am!!! :(
So I really need to be in bed right now ....
However I needed to thank all of you for your support!
You all truly are the best!!
I will let everyone know how things go tomorrow! I am actually starting to get nervous!
Is that bad?
Ok off to bed I go ...
THANKS AGAIN EVERYONE FOR YOUR SUPPORT!!!
So my life has been having some CRAZY roller coaster moments!
I have been talking to this guy for about 3 months now ... nothing serious, just friends! We probably text once every 3 weeks!
We have recently started talking more. He told me how he wanted to make our friendship more serious, steady! He wants us to move to the next level!
Yet EVERYTIME I call he NEVER answers! Not a single time I have called him has he answered! NOT ONCE!
He was a nice guy when I first met him ... yet they always are in the beginning! Then they go sour ... at least for me they do!
I mean I am not really out there looking but I am beginning to fall back into my old thoughts "I will NEVER find a boyfriend, I'll never get married, or have kids!!!"
I am 23, which I KNOW is still young, but everyone younger than me and my age and older already has boyfriends/fiances/husbands, kids, the whole 9 yards! I am starting to feel left out! Is that so wrong of me?
I have only ever had 3 boyfriends, and my last one was 3 years ago!
I have dated 2 guys since then but that was it! Nothing serious!
I want to find the guy that I say I love you to and he says it back to me and we tell each other how much we miss each other and have been thinking of them, etc.
I just want love!!! Am I being greedy/impatient?
Work has been crazy! Good and bad! I am still looking for new employment! I am considering taking a manager position at payless!
I have been going through friends again! People seem to think I will continue to put up with their bullshit! But I won't! I am sick of people thinking I will let them walk all over me! WHAT?!?! Are you insane!
I miss my brother, SO MUCH!!! 2 days until court!!! Tuesday we go to court!
Life just seems to get crazy, then it gets good, then it gets crazy again!
I remain very very grateful for everything!!
Friday, March 7, 2008
So I just had to write in here because it has been more than a week and I said I would try to stay in here on a regular basis!
Well I will give you all just a small portion of my update, cuz full version will have you here all day reading ... and I still need to get ready for work lol!
My brother had ran away and was missing for a week and a half!
He ran away because my mom (psycho as we already know) threatened to beat him so bad he wouldn't know what happened to him then she would call the cops and tell them to take him away!
So he got scared and ran away!
Funny part is that when he was missing and 2 days before he was missing I called her and asked for custody and she said to me, "Please don't take him from me, that's my baby. He is the only thing that is keeping me sane!"
UH HELLO!! You just told him you were going to beat him and have him taken away! AND you're already insane so what's the difference lady?!?!
So he was found the beginning of this week and is in lock up right now!
Hunter's probation officer (P.O.) has persuaded my mom to give me custody when Hunter gets out! However, it will ONLY be while he is on probation then he is to return to her! UNLESS I fight her for custody, which I have all intensions to!
I want him to have a bigger better future! Which I don't feel that he can have living with her and her recently ex-fiance and his new girlfriend and her kids!
Yea my moms ex-fiances house sounds like a soap opera or reality show! DISGUSTING!
I did go visit my brother alst night and he was very happy to see me, he had NO idea I was coming! I came around the corner and he was sitting on the bench (it was in their lunch room, so it was on one of those benches in the lunch rooms in high school lol) and when he saw my face he started smiling!
I love my little brother so VERY much! I love him as if he was my own child! I have taken care of him a lot while we were growing up!
I am looking for a new job!
I am looking for a new apartment (b/c of my brother)
I guess that is really the small update .. and I really need to get ready lol!!
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Ok. So why am I blessed?
Why do you think?
I have been thinking lately!
I have so much that sometimes I take for granted!
I have ALL 5 senses in tact still, I am able to support myself, I have my own apartment, my own car, pay all my bills myself, have a wonderful support team! (friends and a few family members)
I have been through so many things since the new year, BUT God still keeps blessing me. Just when I am ready to give up, he blesses me with something else!
There is so much more that I would like to write about this and I will, just not tonight cuz I have been up since 5:30am and I want and need some rest!
I just needed to pop in and say hello and get that off my chest!!
Monday, February 18, 2008
Okay so here I am again today. Let's see if I can write in here daily!!! :)
Today I just had one of those I hate my job days!
It is all because of this story that took place Friday evening ...
Starting Thursday I starting feeling sick at payless (my second job).
It was that beginning feeling where you freeze even if it's hot and all your bones hurt in your body!
Well I ignored the feeling since I just thought maybe it was because I was exhausted from working so much and I needed sleep!
So I came home and went to sleep! I started burning up! I couldn't find my thermometer. I finally woke up a little after four and couldn't take it anymore, so I looked all over for the thermometer until i found it and my temperature was 102.4, I took Advil and went to sleep.
Started feeling better in the morning so I went to work again. Started my day at payless 9:45am-1:00pm then I started Piercing Pagoda at 1:30pm. I had a feeling the sickness was going to come back.
So I started calling people to see if they could cover my shift. I called my whole staff and 2 other stores staff. No one would come in!
I started getting really sick. When I stood up I started to shake, my face had NO color, my eyes were extremely bloodshot,my eyes would only open half way, I couldn't remember what happened 2 minutes prior, I had HORRIBLE coughing fits, runny/stuffy nose, while I talked I would start crying (not even like I wanted to, it just came on it's own), and one time I coughed so hard I threw up!
I KNEW my fever was back and there was NO way I could work the rest of my shift out, that had about 5 hours left!
I called my boss who argued with me about leaving. I told her I had no choice, I was physically UNABLE to work any longer and no one would cover my shift so I would have to close the store!
This is where she should have stepped in and took over my shift so I could go home. Instead she argued with me! I finally told her, "Look I don't know what to tell you! I know I'm not allowed to close the store early, nor do I want to but I HAVE to if NO ONE will come in! You will just have to write me up or fire me and if you do I'll be taking the company to court, cuz they can NOT force me to stay here while I am sick!"
I closed the store 1 1/2 hours early!
Went home and went to bed for 36 hours, I was only up to potty, drink, medicine, etc.
I did not eat for 72 hours, I was SO sick!
Not good I know. But I had no desire to even attempt to eat cuz everything hurt!
Well my whole point is, how am I supposed to feel working for a company and co-workers who obviously don't care about my health and illness?
~~ Wipes the dust off this old journal that has been sitting here untouched for about 3 months
So I am supposed to be in bed but I came to check on something and read an e-mail from a person that was a regular reader here and I was one of her regular readers.
Which reminded me that I really need to put more time back into my journals! I think of all of you often!
But now that I work 2 jobs it is hard to keep up with anything!
Alot has changed for me the past few months! I will not sit here and bore you with the details!
Major happenings: *my mom went psycho AGAIN cuz her fiance broke up with her (after 13 years) I can't say I blame the guy! She is threatening to take it to public .... UMMM everybody has had a breakup in their life, the public really will not find that story so appealing! What you think?
* I started and stopped selling partylite candles .. all within a month, it was just not for me! I felt like I had no support from the consultant who signed me (my boss from pagoda)
* My mom has told my brother he is not allowed to talk to me anymore!
* I having problems with my ex best friend who owes me $253.11
* I have went to visit my dad in Ohio (I drove)
* Went to visit my best friends family in North Carolina (I drove)
There are many other things but I'll leave it at that for now!!
I just wanted to say hi to everyone!!
I miss you all!! (whoever still has me on alerts)
Here are a few pics of me recently
Pouty lips with the curls!!
Shopping at the mall in North Carolina (the date on it is wrong, I got a new digital camera & didn't know how to change the date yet lol, it was just last weekend, february 9th)
Mommy And baby head to head for kisses! He usually puts his head down like that for "head kisses" but I had lip gloss on so I didn't want to kiss his head and come up with a mouth full of cat hair EWWW!! :(