Another HOT Day In My World!

It was indeed another hot day here in PA

Sometimes I really wonder why I like summertime more than winter ....

oh, that's right ....

because I get REALLY depressed at winter time!

Plus I just HATE being cold ....

not that this sweating mess is any better!

 

Anyhoo, My little man Dontae graduates from preschool tomorrow morning!

Lisa is going to come pick me up then we're going to drop him off at school at 9, then we are going to go for breakfast at Cracker Barrel then go to his graduation at 10:30am

I am so excited ....

I feel like he is my own kid!

I love Lisa's kids so much!

We agreed that they are my 'adopted' kids!

They are such little blessings! :)

 

I am a little sad thinking Mark and my situation!

I have a feeling that he is not going to be 'talking' to me much longer .....

which I keep trying to tell myself that it is probably for the best ....

but I really do like him,

but he is also VERY complicated!

I can not understand him at ALL!

I won't go into details on what happened in here .....

 

I must go now ......

I think I will force myself to bed early again tonight!

My Thoughts (Currently)

I really really really appreciate everyone's thoughts about Mark and I ...

I do need to say a few things though,

on how I feel

Now I already said that I agreed with all of you!

BUT

I have been thinking,

now when you read this,

DO NOT think that I thought this up JUST for an excuse ....

because believe I do NOT do that kind of stuff!

I admit to reality,

but I have been putting DEEP thoughts into my situation

and I have come up with this ....

1. I think the reason Mark and I argue so much is because most people PUT up a front to get the other person and then once they have them they start to show their TRUE colors, Mark & I are VERY forward people .... we say exactly what is on our mind and are TOTALLY honest with each other (now I was having a problem telling him when I was mad at him, but that's another story and I don't hide it anymore)! So with that being said, I think that's why we are NOT the USUAL two people trying to START a relationship!

2. Maybe I am not ready for a realtionship! Maybe my personal life is way out of line and I need to get things straightened before trying to add more drama to it ... because whoever said that relationships don't have drama is SICK in the head!

3. I really LIKE him! I know that telling him that maybe I'm not ready to be in a relationship, could increase the chances of us NEVER having a relationship! Which makes me want to cry, because I really do want to have a realtionship with him!

4. A fellow friend has said that mostpeople vent about the good that the one they like has been doing .... Now please remember, I am a very sensitive and depressed person and I tend to use my journal to vent about the bad going on (mainly)! So therefore, you all do not know of EVERYTHING good that he has done for me! Not saying that is a good excuse or anything but I think that is part of why many of you think lowly (is that even a word? probably not) of him!

 

He did take my friend and I for ice cream last night after her and I got off work! It was SO good too! :)

Mark and I had a serious text conversation!

That's all I have to say for now .......

I'll write more tomorrow!

New J-Lander!

I got my brother to start a journal here in this wonderful community ...

it is a private journal,

so if you want to be added leave me a comment and I'll add ya ...

he does not know how to do everything yet!

I pretty much set everything up and will ahve to help him to his first couple entries

and I am trying to get him started with some of your journals!

So once I add you ... stop by him and see him ... be gentle now!

Thanks!

FUKITOL!

I had to shre this with all of you .....

Melissa shared this with me

and well i thought it was too good not to be shared ....

It's a bit blurry  .... damn photbucket resized it!

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

I'm With ALL Of You!

I have been thinking about letting mr. Mark go ....

so don't feel bad to write in your comments what you really think ...

that's what they are there for, for you all to tell me what you really think ....

don't be shy or unsure, just right what is on your mind,

I want you all to be honest with me ...

don't just tell me what you think I might want to hear,

because what I want to hear is what is the truth!

I have a headache

So I think I'm heading for bed .... I have to pull an open to close Sunday and Monday!

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

And then open again on Tuesday!

Yuck!

BTW .... Angela is back in charge .......

WHOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I am SO EXCITED!

She did call me at the store tonight so i got to talk to her really fast because they were having trouble with her plane not being able to land!

But she is fine and I am ready to hand the region back over to her on a gold platter! :)

 

*update: I forgot that I got aksed by a few of you how old Mark is .... so I just wanted to add that .... he is 22!

Mark Update

I have noticed that Mark and I don't really "chat" while on the phone anymore ...

I KNEW this but it was confirmed yesterday when I got my cell phone bill

I went through the call list .... the longest phone conversation that we had between 4/14-5/13 was 27 mins.

I had plenty of other phone conversations with Lisa & Latoya that were like 105 mins. long .... but NOT a single one was with him ....

It bothers me that we don't really talk anymore

and when we do talk I feel like we can not find anything to say to each other ...

there is a lot of quiet time on the phone!

I HATE THAT!

Anyhoo, He said to me the other night that I don't show him enough that I like him ... he said that it bothers him that I don't ask him to do stuff .....

I do have a reason for this but that's not the point of why i'm telling you this ....

well I asked him to do something with me last night (I asked him thursday) and he was acting like his schedule was too busy to fit me in ....

then he noticed I got mad and was like well I'll see if I can, I'll try but I'm not promising anything!

Then RIGHT after that whole mess ...

I was watching t.v. and saw the X-men preview adn was stating how I HATE X-men ....

so he then asked me if I wanted to go to the movies with him ....

I said to watch X-men and he said yea ...

I was like, "After I JUST got done saying how I hate them, you ask me to come see that movie with you! NO!"

"Well it's either X-men or Da Vinnci Code!"

"Well I don't like either of them!"

I can't believe though that right after I asked him to do something and he "pretended" to be too busy, then all of a sudden he wants me to go to the movies to see a movie he knows I don't like!

I REALLY need to get a copy of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus"

I don't understand guys at all!

Breathe!

Well I am SUPER EXCITED ....

guess why .....

 

You got it .....

Angela comes back from vacation tomorrow ... she comes back at night, but this means tomorrow is my LAST day of being in charge!

Now don't get me wrong I didn't mind being in charge .... I am just ready for it to be over!

I don't like knowing that this is not my everyday responsibility therefore I could very much be messing something up!

I hate that our coupon percent SUCKS ... I wanted her to come back to AWESOME numbers, but I guess that's not going to happen ...

but when I listened to our director of mid-atlantic stores' message, the highest percent (with the stores grouped as regions) was at like 27% ... our region is at 20% flat .... so it is not like their at 50% or anything we are right behind them!

 

Anyway ...

enough about work ...

I have a few sayings that I have been seeing and I ABSOLUTELY LOVE them ...

Where I live there are A LOT of business' that use their signs for sayings .... that is one thing that I love about the city that I live in!

Okay I have two that I love ...

1. He who angers you, controls you!

*Is that not amazing AND true? I LOVE it!

2. You can't withdrawal anything from the bank of life, but what you have deposited into it!

* I may have gotten those words a little twisted, but you get the point! I LOVE LOVE LOVE this one!

Seeing these kinds of things around my city has been part of my positive attitudes lately!

I also seen on a hidden valley dressing truck "Today is a new day!" I think that is good too .... today is a new day and I will not let anything from yesterday bother me!

I also seen (from the same business that I saw number one at ....) "Peace begins with smiles"

anyhoo, I just thought I'd share some positive words with all of you!

 

btw ...

I didn't get to save as money as I wanted to ....

I had to get a b-day present ...

Today was Latoya's 24th b-day ....

Latoya is my key sales associate at work ....

And she got me something for my b-day back in December ... when she was having TIGHT money problems ...

SO I felt it was ONLY right to get her something ...

plus she does a GREAT job at the store!

And I had to get a few things that were necessary for myself!

I am SO mad that I didn't get to save as much as I wanted to! :(

2 more days!

2 MORE DAYS!

Then Angela will be back and in full effect!

WHOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I am super excited ..... can ya tell? :)

 

N E Ways .....

on to other things that are more important .....

let's see .....

I got a bonus pay on my check today ...

which means an extra $200 to save!

YEA!

SO I was thinking ....

If I save $300 the next 3 paydays ...

I can move out in about 2 months!

YEA!

I am so happy about that!

Lisa and I can not wait until i get my apartment for a few reasons ....

1. I'll have MY OWN place .... finally!

2. We can not wait to decorate it! We have been seeing some REALLY cute things!

3. I promised her when I got my own place that the first weekend I would watch her kids .... so she could have some time to herself .... she has been waiting for this .... don't get me wrong she loves her kids to death and does A LOT for them ... but she raises them by herself ... well with the help from her mom who also babysits them when she is at work ... but the dad is hardly EVER around to see them ... he is a real JERK .... but anyways, she still needs time to herself at some point ... and I love her kids like their my own and they love me so I thought this would be a great idea ... I even told her they can stay whenever they want! :)

4. I will be such a happier person!

5. NO MORE DRAMA! NO MORE STRESS! :)

Please pray to help me from wanting to buy things! I am trying so hard!

I have been trying to stick to the necessities and that's it ... but I will be honest I splurged today and got 3 shirts on sale at Lane Bryant and I picked up my toe ring layaway at my store! :(

But I think that's ALL I'm allowing myself this payday!

I hope I can keep this feeling of not wanting to shop!

I really do!

Doctors Anyone?

First of all I just have to say this .....

did you know that Kelis got married to Nas?

What the hell was that man thinking ... I mean I like her new song "I'm Bossy"

but damn that chick is not that cute ...

and that damn song "milkshake"

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?

 

Anyhoo, enough celeb gossip .....

 

Have I ever told you how much of a procrastinator I am?

Well if I didn't .... I AM!

I have to call my doctors today to make that appointment that many of you know I need to make ...

yep, I even have a certain brand of birth control picked out that I am requesting to be put on!

Now I just have to get my behind in gear and call the doctors today!

I feel stupid though because I have not been there in about 4 years and now I have to call and make an appointment .... I even have to make sure they take my insurance ..... GOD I hope they do ...

I have gone to the same doctor's office since I was like 3!

I do not want to have to find a new office after almost 20 years of going there!

That's a long time!

Plus I am really comfortable with my doctor, not only because I have gone there for so long, but because she is nice and knows my whole family and knows everything about me already!

Hell I even need to get my female yearly thingy ..... and I HATE those ...

but I have to admit ..... I love my doctor ... because she NEVER pinches me!

The first time she did mine I was like, "So when are you going to start?"

"Theresa, I am done already!"

"WHAT! I didn't feel anything!"

 

Yeah! She's that good!

Anyhoo, I  guess I better go call and make that appointment!

 

*update: I just got off the phone with the doctors office ..... they accept my insurance but it does not cover my office visit .... so I'll have to pay for that .... but I still scheduled an appointment as I knew no matter how much it cost I HAVE to get this done .... so I get my lovely little pap smear on June 14 .... and not only do I have to do this but I made sure it was on my day off ... and guess what .... now I don't even get to sleep in .... my appointment is at 9! YUK! Pap & I have to get up early on my day off! What is this world coming too? j/k! I am just very proud of myself that I finally got over my procrastination and scheduled that damn appointment! :) YEA for me .... is someone going to treat me for my job well done?*

Off To Work!

Well I just wanted to write a short little something before I head out that door for work ....

yea that famous thing that brings me a check every 2 weeks! :)

 

N E Ways ....

I just had to tell all of you 2 things ....

first of all thanks for all the support through all my struggles that I have been having lately!

I really appreciate it!

Really I do! :)

 

second Mark kept texting me all this cute stuff last night ...

I asked him how his day was and he said ok

I said "just ok? what's wrong?"

'I didn't get to see u'

Sheesh sometimes he really can show that he likes me!

There was too much stuff to type it all in here ...

plus I don't think that you would want to just sit here and read all that gushy stuff when you could be doing other fun and interesting things!

 

Have a great tuesday everyone!

Stupid AOHELL!

I have read every single one of your entries that you have written today, but the stupid thing will not let me comment in other people's journals ....

it has to just be mine too because I seen other people commented!

I could get a few in, but there were a bunch that just kept bringing up an 'error' page, saying something retarded about not being able to find the page!

I hate AOL!

Hence why I only have AIM!

I would never pay to have AOL (or like I love to call it, AOHELL)

I keep AIM for my journal ... and that's it!

Oh and my e-mail!

But hey it's free!

I don't use any provider .... because I don't think there is any that I think I like, plus why pay when I can just use yahoo e-mail and AIM e-mail, and then use Internet explorer for everything else?

 

N E Ways ......

My boss just called me to touch base with me .... she is on vacation ..... but her husband owns one of the food places in the mall, and I saw him this morning when I went down to the other Pagoda to talk to Lisa about a few reminders and he saw me and was kidding around about me not being in my store .... I told him that I had to verbally communicate a few things to Lisa because his wife's audix was broke and no one could get in to listen to the message I had left on there ....

well he talked to her tonight and he told her that her audix was broke .... of course when I told him he kidded around and said it must have been my fault, that Angela leaves town and leaves me in charge and I mess up her audix ...

I told him no, because it has been broken before for Angela too!

But so she called and told me that he had told her that I said it was broke so she called to see if she could get through but she can not even get in to listen to the messages left for her, I can do that I just can not call in and listen to the message I left for the rest of the region to listen to!

But other than that me being in charge has not been to bad ... I mean I had a few stressful points .....

One of the major ones ... which I discussed with Angela tonight ..... is that we have these coupons we give out with a certain amount of purchase .... we have a goal percentage of total sales that we are to be at and we are WAY below it!

I told Angela that we have been doing pretty good at everything else just our coupon percentages stink really bad!

I told her that I had talked to her boss (director of mid-atlantic stores) and she asked me to pump all the stores up to get a higher percentage!

Angela even wants me to tell them that I had talked to her tonight and that she wants us to push these coupons out the door as she knows we can .... our region can usually do pretty decent with them ....

so I don't know what is wrong ....

ok, sorry I am just rambling tonight!

 

There is one more thing that I want to add .....

Mark and I have decided that we will try the long distance relationship .....

after another night if arguing ....

it was because he asked me to do something and I told him I did not want to get to attached to him or grow any more feelings because I had decided that I am not ready to just up and leave what I have here (not my family, but my friends and my job) and that he didn't want to do a long distance relationship so I had guessed that we would be nothing more than friends ...

I wanted to melt when i heard his response back ...

'I am willing to try just for you'

OMG! I feel like a chocolate candy bar in the sun on a 100 degree day right now, just by typing and reading that! :)

I told him I did not want him to do something he doesn't want to do just because of me, I want him to dowhatever makes him happy, and I don't want him to say that because that's what sounds good to me ... and I don't want him to say that if he truly doesn't mean it ... and time will tell when it is time for him to move!

I hope he is not just stringing me along ....

which I truly do not think he is!

POW! Take That Chick!

Well I am glad to write this

so what do you think it is?

 

Mark and I have kissed and made up?

 

No ... not exactly ...

we made up ...

but no kisses were involved!

I know we have been talking for a while now but have not kissed yet!

But anyways,

I called him last night .....

He was waiting for me to call ...

he left me two messages yesterday saying that when I was ready for us to talk about what happened that I was to call him!

So around 11:30 last night I called him ...

I knew I could not hide from it forever ....

I just needed time to think, and to talk to my best friend and get her advice!

So we worked it all out .....

which my best friend wanted to know what the 'eye opener' was for him to realize he was the one in the wrong ....

Well I said 'that's funny you should ask .....'

LOL!

Can you guess what it was?

 

 

You betcha ...

(I hope you were right .... cuz I just said you betcha ... and that would be a waste if you were wrong)

The girl had called  ..... during our arguing time!

Now I don't know if you all remember, but when this happened he said he didn't know what the big deal was because she just said that she wanted to 'HANG OUT SOMETIME' and I said I knew it was more than that ....

well anyways ....

he told her that they could ONLY BE FRIENDS ...

the chicks response "WHAT JUST FRIENDS?"

LMAO ....

I KNEW IT!

I knew that chick just wanted in his pants!

So he said to me, "so you were right about her Theresa!"

HA!

HA!

HA!

I love being right!

I know I am being evil ... but hey .....

I needed to say that!

I think that is what was his eye opener, because she didn't want to JUST hang out, she wanted to hang in other places ....

like his damn bed ...

sorry chick ...

that's my spot ...

he's been asking me EVERY night for the past week and half to spend the night ... (including this morning ... but again I have to decline his offer again tonight)

and three's a crowd ....

so there's no room for ya!

HA!

Take that!

Now how funny was it when he gave you his number?

Okay so it's still not funny ...

but now I'm the last one laughing! :)

Oh yea and I'm lovin it!

 

now on to something else that we tal about that I am NOT so excited about .....

Him and I!

Well as I knew for awhile he is only going to be at the store he is at now for 2 months ...

then he is being transferred to either Pittsburgh or Baltimore .....

which both are a bit away from here!

So he is pretty much leaving the decision up to me ...

which REALLY sucks ....

he said there are 3 options:
* I can move with him to wherever he goes
* A long distance relationship
* Or we just NOT be together!

So this has been tearing me up all night last night and all day today ...

because I really do like him ....

but I don't want to move for 2 reasons ......

one I can't JUST get up and move in with him .... it's WAY to soon for that

and two .... I am happy with my job ... I have worked really hard to have my store and get it to where it is now ... therefore, I am not trying to just get up and leave .....

well honestly there are 3 ...

third reason ..... when I told Lisa this last night .... he response to the moving was "Well you can just get the thought of moving out of your head, I'm not letting that happen! You are staying here for several reasons!"

(her reasons are good too and I agree with EVERY single one .... her and the kids, my job, and it's too soon to move in with him)

Mark says that he really does NOT want a long distance relationship ... and neither do I ...

so it leaves me with one option left ...

and this is why it hurts .....

I can not go, I can't do the long distance relationship ...

so what's left?

NOTHING

That's right ....

No relationship between us!

How bad do you think that hurts me to wake up and know the reality?

It makes me really really really sad!

But I know it is best decision for me and my future!

I know we can be friends, but I don't think I could see him happy with another chick ...

it would hurt me really bad ...

even though we don't (and obviously never will) have a serious relationship ...

but it would hurt me to know that some other chick is where I wanted to be ...

It Continues!

Well last night I was so upset with everything going on with Mark and I that I just went to bed early!

He called a few times ...

but just because he calls does not mean that I need to pick up ...

right?

RIGHT!

So I left it ring ...

well he just kept calling, I was trying to sleep ..

so eventually I got so damn annoyed I answered ...

I knew he would keep calling ...

and I just wanted to go to sleep ...

He asked if I was sleeping, I told him yeah, he asked if I was sleeping all this time, and I said yea, hence the reason I have not been answering the phone!

Well he asked me to talk about why I was mad ...

we exchanged a short conversation ...

he said that he wanted to start over ....

I HATE how men think it's that easy ...

when you do something like he did, there is no way in HELL I'm letting it go that easily!

He asked me on a date, he said his first check with his managers pay on it he would take me out ....

I'm still not saying that this will erase what he did!

Nice try though, buddy ... but it don't work like that!

Well we hung up and I layed there thinking of how PISSED I was because not only did he just call and wake me up ... but he did it to argue with me!

So I thought about texting him with a short message of how pissed off I was!

Then I thought about writing it down and calling him back and just reading it o him ....

then I thought about how I should just force myself back to sleep ...

then I thought about how I hate that every single one of you and my friends are right ... it is better that this happened now and not later ... believe me I agree ...

but it hurts to know (or think) there will never be love in your life EVER!

It hurts more because I want a F-A-M-I-L-Y!

I can not have kids by myself ...

yes I could get donors, or adopt ...

but that's not the same,

I want my kids to know their dad and him to be in our lives!

It hurts to know that Mark does not see this as a big deal!

Well as I layed there with all these thoughts in my head within 5 minutes ...

he called back ...

and I knew again if I didn't answer,

he would just keep calling!

So I answered

Mark, "Theresa, please talk to me!"

Me, "About what?"

"about why you are mad? Tell me why it made you mad"

"Oh my gosh are you serious, I just want to sleep!"

Well we argued for a while ....

I told him how it made me feel disrespected!

He said (again) how much he didn't think it was that big of a deal, he understands why I feel disrespected ...

I threw up the point that I KNOW, even though he states differently, that he would be pissed if I did that to him!

I stated how I know we are not in no serious relationship like marriage or anything, but if we are "talking" then you don't do that shit!

In front of my or behind my back ...

it just does not need to be done!

Well he asked me to say something, I told him I had nothing to say and hung up on him

I HATE hanging up on people, but I was extremely tired, he woke me up to argue at one in the morning about something he did wrong ...

he kept calling me ...

I didn't answer ...

I texted him and told him to leave me alone that I wanted to go back to sleep and that I had nothing else to say!

he said to let him finish what he has to say instead of hanging up on him just because I don't agree with something ... that at least let him finish and I might understand what he was saying!

I said, "I can't believe you woke me up for this shit ..... i am done!"

I have not answered any of his calls since ...

and I don't plan on it for a while!

The Anger Bulit Up Inside Of Me

Well so as always things have to crumble before my eyes in something that I care so much about!

Mark and I are NOT seeing eye to eye ...

and honestly this time .....

I don't think we EVER will again ...

and that just tears my heart into a MILLION little shreds!

I cried this morning when talking to Lisa about this ...

and I will try my hardest to hold it in again!

I am trying my hardest to keep my cool!

NOTE: I said TRYING my HARDEST!

 

Elizabeth, Mark, and I went out to dinner last night after work ....

we had just finished eating and got the bill and Mark had to step outside for a call because he could not hear inside ....

well Elizabeth went to the bathroom and I paid the bill then waited for her to come out ... it was a single stall ... she came out, I went in ....

she boxed up the left overs and Mark had still not come back in .... I saw him standing outside by a pole thingy (I can't think straight) and it didn't look like he was on the phone anymore!

Elizabeth and I came out the door and just as we came out a girl was coming in ...

Mark was standing there holding a purse and a cell phone .....

Looking all stupid ...

Elizabeth and I looked at him like, 'what the hell is going on?'

He said, "I can't go anywhere!"

Elizabeth and I, "WHY?"

Mark, "Because this chick just went in to get a pen and handed me her purse to hold!"

Elizabeth and I (again at the same time), "WHY?"

Mark, "Because she wants my phone number!"

ME, "AND YOU'RE GIVING IT TO HER?"

(chick comes out with a pen in hand) ....

CHICK, "OKAY, What is it?"

Mark, "***-****" (The stars represent his number)

(As I stand there dropped jawed that he gave her his actual number and not even a fakie!)

The chick walks away after taking her purse ....

Mark looked at me and said, "WHAT?"

Me, "Well that was definitely interesting! Definitely not something you see often! I can't believe you just gave her your number! You didn't even act like nothing was wrong about that or try to make up a fake number!"

Mark, "Well what was I supposed to do?"

ME, "MAKE UP A NUMBER! DON'T GIVE IT TO HER AT ALL OR TELL HER YOU ARE TALKING TO SOMEONE! THAT'S WHAT!"

Mark, "I don't know how to make up phone numbers! I don't know how to!"

(side note: he told me last week about a girl that wanted his number and he told me that I must be crazy to think he gave her his real number, he said he made up a number! That I must not know him well enough if I didn't know that)

Elizabeth, "You should have told her 'don't you see that I already have two beautiful women and I couldn't possibly handle another?'"

Mark, "I should have said 'this (pointing to me) is my girl! Ask her for the number!'"

Me, "So why didn't you?"

Mark, "are you mad at me?"

Me, "I'm speechless!"

So Elizabeth gets in her jeep and we get in his car (she's following us back to his place for him to get changed, for us to go for a ride in her jeep together)

WE get in his car ...

Mark, "Are you mad at me?"

Me, "I really don't know what to say, I mean I can't believe you just did that!"

Mark, "Well I AM single so I CAN give my number to whatever girl I want to!"

I have a tendency to hide my feelings of being mad at someone because of my past as a child ....

which I know is a habit I need to break and I am working on!

(Mark is calling now, and it's killing me not to answer ... my heart is killing me)

So I told him that I was not mad several times .... until finally I gave in and told him yes ....

I told him I know if I did that to him he would be PISSED beyond belief!

I told him that I also could not believe what his response was!

Mark, "What response are you talking about?"

Me, "The I'm single and can give my number to whoever! I mean I know you are but ...."

he had cut me off and a few other words were exchanged .....

I asked him a question (I can not remember what exactly it was, I know it was something along the lines of why do you think I'm acting like this?)

and his response was, "Because you care about me!"

There was dead silence for about a minute ...

Mark, "hello?"

Me, "yea?"

Mark, "why are you not saying anything?"

Me, "what do you want me to say to that?"

Mark, "Well is that not true?"

Me, "yes it is! I do care about you Mark and that's why this hurts me!"

We exchanged a few other little arguments and it got quiet for about 5 minutes ...

Me, "Well I'm going to bed!"

Mark, "Sweet dreams, call me when you get up in the morning okay?"

Me, "whatever!"

Mark, "Have a good night"

I hung up as he was still talking though!

I vented to Kayli about it ... which happens to be someone he knew from before either of them worked at the mall .....

she wanted his number .... she asked for it a little while after we talked about it so I didn't think too deep into it ... I just figured she wanted to talk to him about some other things ... so I gave her his number ....

She called him to yell at him for doing that to me ... she told him that I didn't tell her, that Elizabeth had told her and that she was pissed that he had done such a thing to me!

He called me at the store a little after 12, we exchanged a few angry sentences and I had a customer (THANK GOD) so I told him that I would call him back!

I never did ....

I am hurting!

I am SICK of relationships ...

I am such a nice person (or so I'd like to think),

yet I continue to be treated like crap ....

and it is always in the beginning ...

which I guess is a good thing ...

I guess God does not intend for me to fall in love ....

The sun is shinning in on my life

Well I have some news to tell all ...

somethings that have been making me smile from ear to ear!

I got to spend some time with Mark the past two days ....

HOW EXCITING IS THAT?

I have not seen him (before yesterday that is) in a week and a half to two weeks ....

I was sad because of that!

Well yesterday I had a short day since I worked a double shift on saturday ...

I only had to work 4:30-9:30pm ....

So Kayli, Ashlynn (Kayli's 8 month old daughter), Mark and I went to lunch at Friendly's (my favorite restaurant)!

I got up around 9 (because Mark called me and told me not to get up until 9:30 but I couldn't go back to sleep)!

Got a shower and started straightening my hair when he called and said he was on his way to come get me ...

so I hurried up and did my hair ...

then the day of compliments began ...

I got in the car .... with NO makeup on .... I HATE doing this ...... I only seen him 2 other occasions where I had NO makeup on .... but I did not have a lot of breakouts occuring on my face .... as I did yesterday ...

As soon as I got in the car he said, "Hello there stranger, long time no see! You look beautiful today!"

"WHAT? Are you serious? I have NO makeup on, My hair is still frizzy, and I don't have my rings on yet!"

"Well you didn't have to hurry for me!"

"I hate when people are waiting for me, so I just gatehred me things and came out when you said you were here! And I just realized I left my keys in the house!"

I couldn't get my keys because my mom was sleeping on the loveseat but she is hard of hearing and probably not have heard me, plus once she saw it was me she probably would not have answered the door!

So I just called my dad from work and told him to leave the door unlocked until I got home!

But back to my little story here ....

We went back to his apartment (which by the way is not just his, as I thought it was ... he has a roommate) and he got a shower while I watched Dave chapelle on dvd!

Before he went to get in the shower he said, "Now don't be trying to sneak in the bathroom while I'm trying to get a shower, I do have a see through curtain!"

He came back into his room (where I was) with just a towel on ....

I know he wanted me to look, but I didn't  ....

I was a VERY good girl and kept my focus on the tv!

Well I didn't see anything .... THANK GOD!

I need to be a good girl .... he was just edging for me to be bad ....

and I showed him I'm strong (at least I am at this) .....

And I don't give in easily to sexual relationships ....

even though he KNOWS that ...

so we waited for Kayli to call then we told her to meet us at 12!

So we ate, we all had a good time!

We went to the mall afterwards ...

Mark won somehting from one of the jewelry stores (I HATE that store too .. not just cuz it's a competitor though .. for other reasons) and he wanted to go pick out his item!

Kayli had to talk to one of the BIG bosses that was visiting the store!

So I watched Ashlynn while those two did their things!

It was funny because then when Mark tried holding her nad talk to his friends about MALE things, she started crying and put her arms out for me ...

I had to laugh!

Whenever we went to do anything "male" related she started getting fussy ...

then we would leave and go to a girly store (with girl employees) and she would be fine ... then we would be near the guys again and she would start up all over again!

She has already decided at such a young age that she is not having males rule her life ... funny little girl!

Kayli and Ashlynn had to leave ... to go see Ashlynn's dad!

Mark stayed at the mall with me until I had to go to my store ....

he is so sweet (sometimes)

He kissed my hand yesterday and I felt like I was in a movie!

When I looked at him he looked like he was lost in my eyes or something!

WEIRD!

Anyway ...

we went to breakfast today with Lisa and Dejya!

So I am SO happy that we got to spend time together the past two days!

AND he paid the past two days for me!

WHEN I was planning to pay both days!

How sweet!

Gosh he has my heart strung!

(I still don't LOVE him though ... it's WAY to soon for those BIG words)

Welcome!

Welcome to my new private journal!

I needed to make one that I could say things in that I could keep private from the whole world!

Please leave me a comment or e-mail me if there is someone that you think would like to share my journey and I'll link them ....

if I feel it's necessary ...

because I mean it is private ...

because I don't want the whole world to know what I have to say all the time!

Well I guess that's all I need to write as my introductory entry ....

I mean especially since most of you already know me! :)

 

Have a great day and thanks for stopping by!