I really really really appreciate everyone's thoughts about Mark and I ...
I do need to say a few things though,
on how I feel
Now I already said that I agreed with all of you!
I have been thinking,
now when you read this,
DO NOT think that I thought this up JUST for an excuse ....
because believe I do NOT do that kind of stuff!
I admit to reality,
but I have been putting DEEP thoughts into my situation
and I have come up with this ....
1. I think the reason Mark and I argue so much is because most people PUT up a front to get the other person and then once they have them they start to show their TRUE colors, Mark & I are VERY forward people .... we say exactly what is on our mind and are TOTALLY honest with each other (now I was having a problem telling him when I was mad at him, but that's another story and I don't hide it anymore)! So with that being said, I think that's why we are NOT the USUAL two people trying to START a relationship!
2. Maybe I am not ready for a realtionship! Maybe my personal life is way out of line and I need to get things straightened before trying to add more drama to it ... because whoever said that relationships don't have drama is SICK in the head!
3. I really LIKE him! I know that telling him that maybe I'm not ready to be in a relationship, could increase the chances of us NEVER having a relationship! Which makes me want to cry, because I really do want to have a realtionship with him!
4. A fellow friend has said that mostpeople vent about the good that the one they like has been doing .... Now please remember, I am a very sensitive and depressed person and I tend to use my journal to vent about the bad going on (mainly)! So therefore, you all do not know of EVERYTHING good that he has done for me! Not saying that is a good excuse or anything but I think that is part of why many of you think lowly (is that even a word? probably not) of him!
He did take my friend and I for ice cream last night after her and I got off work! It was SO good too! :)
Mark and I had a serious text conversation!
That's all I have to say for now .......
I'll write more tomorrow!