Tuesday, May 30, 2006

My Thoughts (Currently)

I really really really appreciate everyone's thoughts about Mark and I ...

I do need to say a few things though,

on how I feel

Now I already said that I agreed with all of you!

BUT

I have been thinking,

now when you read this,

DO NOT think that I thought this up JUST for an excuse ....

because believe I do NOT do that kind of stuff!

I admit to reality,

but I have been putting DEEP thoughts into my situation

and I have come up with this ....

1. I think the reason Mark and I argue so much is because most people PUT up a front to get the other person and then once they have them they start to show their TRUE colors, Mark & I are VERY forward people .... we say exactly what is on our mind and are TOTALLY honest with each other (now I was having a problem telling him when I was mad at him, but that's another story and I don't hide it anymore)! So with that being said, I think that's why we are NOT the USUAL two people trying to START a relationship!

2. Maybe I am not ready for a realtionship! Maybe my personal life is way out of line and I need to get things straightened before trying to add more drama to it ... because whoever said that relationships don't have drama is SICK in the head!

3. I really LIKE him! I know that telling him that maybe I'm not ready to be in a relationship, could increase the chances of us NEVER having a relationship! Which makes me want to cry, because I really do want to have a realtionship with him!

4. A fellow friend has said that mostpeople vent about the good that the one they like has been doing .... Now please remember, I am a very sensitive and depressed person and I tend to use my journal to vent about the bad going on (mainly)! So therefore, you all do not know of EVERYTHING good that he has done for me! Not saying that is a good excuse or anything but I think that is part of why many of you think lowly (is that even a word? probably not) of him!

 

He did take my friend and I for ice cream last night after her and I got off work! It was SO good too! :)

Mark and I had a serious text conversation!

That's all I have to say for now .......

I'll write more tomorrow!

7 comments:

therealslimemmy said...

hope things are ok
ttyl
<3, em

eml625 said...

Leaving us hanging !!?
Oh Man....

Ellen

z7snowflake said...

I see what ur saying and totally understand what you mean. Every relationship has problems, but the most important thing is, that all the good times together, out way the bad, and that he respects you and truely cares about you. As long as ur both willing to work on the relationship, there is no reason that you cant be together. Even thru a long distance relationship. When two people want something bad enough, that can make it work. Good luck! *hugs*

misscarberry said...

I usually only write the bad stuff in my journal, my excuse being that it ain't the good parts that keep you awake all night!
Love Sam xXx

my3gifts said...

I think what you just explained makes perfect sense. "WE" (jland) read about the not always so good things about Mark, and I can say personally that I get that you aren't sharing all the good things. This is your venting place, a sounding board so to speak.

It's great that you and Mark are both able to be honest with each other, etc. Personally I think it's better that you two are friends and are able to tell each other everything that you're feeling, etc. My husband and I were friends first and we both told each all our "deep dark secrets". Because at the time when we met, we became friends and telling each other these things was our way of understanding the other view point. By the time I got my head into the game and realized what an amazing man I had in front of me (he'd liked me from the get go) I was already in love with him as a friend and the romantic part just fell right into place. There weren't all those secrets to wonder about. There are still things we discover about each other after 9 yrs of marriage, but we know about past relationships, etc. I think when you have an open and honest relationship, and it turns into more than just friendship, it only gets better!

God Bless you sweetie

bmorrrick said...

You need to do whats best for YOU.....and if you feel like he is important enough to keep trying, then by all means, you should.  You're right, you have said some negative things about him, but if there's a lot more good things, then maybe, with time, and lots of conversations, you two can work it all out.  I wish you only the best, you're a sweet girl....you deserve only the best!

Take Care,
~Bilinda~

linnpooh said...

Like I said ealier Theresa.....when the time is right, one way or another, you will know it. You are a smart, beautiful, young woman with everything in life ahead of you......remember it, rely on it, and call on it. You will serve yourself well.

Pooh Hugs,
Linda~