Saturday, May 20, 2006

It Continues!

Well last night I was so upset with everything going on with Mark and I that I just went to bed early!

He called a few times ...

but just because he calls does not mean that I need to pick up ...

right?

RIGHT!

So I left it ring ...

well he just kept calling, I was trying to sleep ..

so eventually I got so damn annoyed I answered ...

I knew he would keep calling ...

and I just wanted to go to sleep ...

He asked if I was sleeping, I told him yeah, he asked if I was sleeping all this time, and I said yea, hence the reason I have not been answering the phone!

Well he asked me to talk about why I was mad ...

we exchanged a short conversation ...

he said that he wanted to start over ....

I HATE how men think it's that easy ...

when you do something like he did, there is no way in HELL I'm letting it go that easily!

He asked me on a date, he said his first check with his managers pay on it he would take me out ....

I'm still not saying that this will erase what he did!

Nice try though, buddy ... but it don't work like that!

Well we hung up and I layed there thinking of how PISSED I was because not only did he just call and wake me up ... but he did it to argue with me!

So I thought about texting him with a short message of how pissed off I was!

Then I thought about writing it down and calling him back and just reading it o him ....

then I thought about how I should just force myself back to sleep ...

then I thought about how I hate that every single one of you and my friends are right ... it is better that this happened now and not later ... believe me I agree ...

but it hurts to know (or think) there will never be love in your life EVER!

It hurts more because I want a F-A-M-I-L-Y!

I can not have kids by myself ...

yes I could get donors, or adopt ...

but that's not the same,

I want my kids to know their dad and him to be in our lives!

It hurts to know that Mark does not see this as a big deal!

Well as I layed there with all these thoughts in my head within 5 minutes ...

he called back ...

and I knew again if I didn't answer,

he would just keep calling!

So I answered

Mark, "Theresa, please talk to me!"

Me, "About what?"

"about why you are mad? Tell me why it made you mad"

"Oh my gosh are you serious, I just want to sleep!"

Well we argued for a while ....

I told him how it made me feel disrespected!

He said (again) how much he didn't think it was that big of a deal, he understands why I feel disrespected ...

I threw up the point that I KNOW, even though he states differently, that he would be pissed if I did that to him!

I stated how I know we are not in no serious relationship like marriage or anything, but if we are "talking" then you don't do that shit!

In front of my or behind my back ...

it just does not need to be done!

Well he asked me to say something, I told him I had nothing to say and hung up on him

I HATE hanging up on people, but I was extremely tired, he woke me up to argue at one in the morning about something he did wrong ...

he kept calling me ...

I didn't answer ...

I texted him and told him to leave me alone that I wanted to go back to sleep and that I had nothing else to say!

he said to let him finish what he has to say instead of hanging up on him just because I don't agree with something ... that at least let him finish and I might understand what he was saying!

I said, "I can't believe you woke me up for this shit ..... i am done!"

I have not answered any of his calls since ...

and I don't plan on it for a while!

6 comments:

therealslimemmy said...

i hope you guys work it out....that was so wrong of him to do even in front of your face for that matter...(not that doing it behind your back would make it right)
hopefully you get some sleep
sounds like you havent gotten any good sleep in awhile :(
ttyl
emily

bmorrrick said...

Hi Hon,

Okay....here I go again...(ha)...I really think you need to have a serious talk with him....IF you are still wanting this to work out....maybe ask him, WHAT does he want from this relationship?  Only friendship, or boyfriend/girlfriend, or what?  Then....if he says he wants you two to be a couple, then talk about a few ground rules....ask what he expects, and then tell him what you expect....he keeps acting like he doesn't know what he is doing wrong....sooooo....I'd let him know what I wouldn't tolerate....once he knows, if he wants to make a try at it, he'll have NO EXCUSE to act like he didn't know giving a girl his # was a problem....or whatever....just tell him that you  respect yourself too much to be treated like a doormat hon....guys are more interested in a girl who puts her foot down and won't take crap off of them.  It's just human nature....hope this is helpful....it's only my opinion, you need to decide what is right for you though...

Take Care,
Love,
~Bilinda~

z7snowflake said...

I know how u feel I want a family too with a man that I love who can be here with me, even tho my situation is alot different than yours, I just cant help but wonder why it seems I always  start to care for people who are so out of my reach and why it seems the people who are around me everyday or can be if they chose too dont even want to be here with me, I cant even really write about it in my journal cuz I just dont feel like ppl will understand so I just keep it to myself, but I do want you to know that I know it hurts to feel like u'll never find love or ever have the family u want. I think me and you have alot in common. And as for Mark. He needs to give u some space, and I still dont remember him apologizing, which means he still doesn't think he did anything wrong, which means, he'd do it again, so until he can see where he was wrong and apologize, he just needs to back off and let you breathe, and just take some time to see the error of his ways. I hope you feel better. *hugs*

eml625 said...

He needs to tell you its JUST YOU and no one else. If not then your gone.
right?
Feel better.
Ellen

misscarberry said...

Good girl!! Learn him a lesson!
Love Sam xXx

prdmom2my5angels said...

I'm sorry to hear what you are going throw I do hope it works out for you... But I do want to say before you make your mind up on what you are going to do... You should sleep on it for a little bit...  Ask him some question to see what he thinks about you and him being together and if you guys would ever be a family... I mean you do have alot to thinking about.... Don't just make your mind up really quit thinking about what you want and see if that is what he wants too... I mean don't leave everything up to him don't do that... But if he wants the same thing you want then you can always try thinking out and you never know it might be a good thing you did what you did... If you ever need to talk or just want someone to listen I'm here for you....


Wanda