It happened again! Did you put a curse on me??

So here I was cleaning tonight and what do you think happened to me again???

I broke glass and cut my hand!

The opposite hand (my left this time) and this time I also managed to cut it in TWO places this time!!!

I cut my middle finger and the palm of my hand!

I swear someone put a curse on me!

Was it you???

Tammy had gotten me this bowl for floating candles and I was cleaning it and it broke into like 10 pieces!!!

Weird!!!

These two were nothing serious though!

The cut I got Sunday night hurts every time I bump it!

But it seems to be healing fine!

This is just weird though!

NO MORE BROTHER!!!!!!

Well as much as I don't want to do this,

I have to!

As I am cleaning today I am finding a lot of things left behind from my brother!

He has a cell phone hidden under my couch (Probably stolen)

Trash on my patio hidden under a trash bag I had sitting out there (when our dumpster's are full if we take a bag down and it is found on the ground we get fined for it, so we are supposed to leave it on our patio until the dumpster's are emptied ... ewwww)

My patio is TRASHED!!!

There was all kinds of trash laying on my floor in the living room/dining area!

He didn't clean up after himself at all.

He stole from me about a month ago!

He lies to me all the time!

He leaves my apartment and plays with one of the boys that lives in the complex and doesn't listen to me when the kid is over.

And when I go to work I leave my keys here as I won't need them at work ... and that way he can ride his bike while I am at work ... BUT he knows when I get off and when I will be home ... so he decides he will leave, lock the apartment and make me wait outside of my own apartment too! 

He is CONSTANTLY with this boy ... never just spending time here in my apartment!

He brakes my things.

He just straight out does whatever he wants when he wants!

I have tried to accept that he is a teenager and they do these things ...

but he is NOT my responsibility and I can't handle all of these things!

He disrespects me and my neighbors ...

I am afraid that he will get me kicked out of here ...

then what will I do?

I will have NOWHERE to go!

So I only have one solution ...

NO MORE BROTHER!!!!!!!!

Reality Check!!!!

So while I was at work today thinking about how I thought my life was horrible ...

It hit me!!!!

My life really is not THAT bad.

I mean yeah I don't drive, I never have money, I am having trouble finding the love of my life, I don't have a family, etc.

Those are really minor compared to what problems I used to have and to what other problems others may be going through!

For those of you who have been reading for a while or Jessie who I have known for almost 8 years ...

Do you remember when I was living at home????

Remember when I was ALWAYS depressed????

Remember how BAD my face broke out all the time from stress????? (and not eating right)

Remember how I didn't know how much I could stay living with my mom, her fiance and my brother cuz I thought I would end up killing myself????

Remember how I was never home????

Remember how I NEVER ate??? (for multiple reasons)

Remember how I would work ALL the time????

Remember how I would find reasons to be out of the house????

Remember how I would lose sleep cuz of it being so hot???

Well I was thinking today ...

I am so ungrateful!!!

How is it so easy for us to become used to the things we have and we get greedy and want more then we get it then we want more????

I wanted my OWN apartment ... I got it!!!

I wanted my face to be clear ... I got it!!!!

I wanted to get brand new nice furniture .... I got it!!!!

I wanted a guy to love me for me ..... I got it!!!! (may have screwed things up, but I got it)

I wanted to feel comfortable with just being ME around him and NOT feeling embarrassed when I'm around him .... I got it!!!!

I sat back and had my REALITY CHECK today ... I realized I got so much that I should be proud of!!!

God sure has given me a lot within the past year!

So why am I sitting here pretending God must have punished me and wants me to suffer and pretend like I have nothing to be proud of?????

I hate when I get 'comfortable' and become greedy, wanting EVERYTHING!!! (becoming the HUGE ol' jealous person)

I have also been thinking of what one of my readers said to me ...

Maybe I should stop worrying about guys for awhile ....

And she was right!!!!

And as much as I like Kori and want things to work ...

Maybe it's just not meant to be!

I prayed to God last night and asked him to please give me the strength to choose the right path, to allow me to make the right decision.

And if it means letting Kori go, then please give me the strength to move forward and not be so heart broken and weak over it!

I did have someone ask for my phone number the other day ...

It's kind of a funny story ...

I won't bore ya with it though!!!

But even though he was not my type for several reasons, it sure was nice to know that guys still find me attractive and want to get to know me more!

Even though I really don't want to get to know any other guy, cuz Kori really does have my heart ... and I don't want to take it from him or share it with anyone else!

I just know that NO MATTER which way God guides me ...

I will try my hardest to not be ungrateful and just know that he is doing this for the best reason possible!

I HATE HOLIDAYS!!!

Ok I don't mean to sound self-centered!

I mean I FULLY understand that today is for a good reason ...

And I am very thankful for all the soldiers that have fought for our country ....

But I hate holidays because they are always about family ...

Like today ...

Alot of people spend time with their families and go to cookouts and go swimming, etc.

and then there is me ....

LEFT ALONE with no family!

Yes I have my brother ...

but he is only 14 years old ....

so there is still a lot I can't do with him!

Holidays just become depressing times for me!

That is why today was such a depressing day for me! :(

Just me being vain!

Well for starters let me just say that spending the day to yourself is quite flattering!

It is nice to just do whatever I want and not caring what others think or want me to do!

It is nice not trying to juggle my life ...

It is nice to just sit back and say, "Ahhh F*** it!"

Sometimes I need just that!

I just need to chill!

Watch some tv ....

relax ....

eat whatever ...

and NO cooking (well til dinner) ....

not worrying about anything at ALL!!!!!

 

Anyhoo ...

While I was spending the day chilling ....

I remembered that I wanted to pose and be all cute today ....

why you ask?

Well first of all cuz anyone that knows me knows that I LOVE to take pictures ....

and TONS of myself!

(Well maybe that's cuz I have nothing else really to take pics of)

and second off cuz I got TWO pairs of FREE sunglasses Saturday and Sunday!!!

So I wanted to flaunt my new shades off!!!!!

 

So here be some cute pics of me!!!

(ohhh, that sounded kinda ghetto ... ahhh well who cares???)

The file names are written in pink .. I thought I titled them well ... and some are cute so I shared them with ya!

Side notes are in purple

Aww!! Cutie Me!!!

These are the sunglasses Thashira gave me yesterday!!!! I look better in them than she does!!! She even said so!!!

EXCUSE ME????

Look you can see my cut in this one!!!

These are the sunglasses Tanya gave me Saturday! And she too admitted her shades looked better on me! She told me to TAKE her sunglasses!

 

Hey! Here I am again!

I'm Sorry! What's that you said?

I wonder if he is thinking of me ....

I wonder .... what lies may lay ahead?????

Just relaxing!

I don't care how my fat neck may look in this one .. I love my face and hair in this one!!!

 

Just Sexy!

This is my city side!

What up B????

I just HAD to throwa silly one in there!!!!

 

Pure Sexiness!

Here is a better one with me wearing the sunglasses Tanya gave me!!!

The morning after!!!

So after the crazy night I had last night I am not sure I really want to do anything today!

I am so friggin tired it's not funny!

I wanted to sleep in so bad ...

but Hunter had to be home by noon!

So I had to wake him up a little after 8 to get ready and go look for his bike in the woods ...

he needed to leave by 9:30 am!

He has to ride his bike across town ..

my moms fiance refused to drive him across town!

STINKIN JERK!!!!!!!

Anyhoo, his bike was still there in the woods.

It was back a little further than where we were last night!

I still have quite a bit to clean today, but  I have a headache and I am so tired I don't know how much I will get done ....

but I DO have off Wednesday and Thursday too!

So I'll do 2 rooms today (Maybe) and do the rest Wednesday!

Then I'll have ALL of Thursday to relax!!!!!

FYI: my hand still hurts!!!!

Only in MY life!!!!!!!

So I planned to come home from work and clean ...

ok I'll stop lying ...

I planned to come home and cook ...

then relax ...

then I walked in and all plans changed!!!!

My brother had TRASHED the place while I was at work!

He decided to STILL not load the dishwasher!

Which I asked him to do while I was at work yesterday morning!

I had long hours at work this weekend!

So I decided since I had about 30 alerts that I would read all the entries first then go clean my kitchen (see pics below)

Well I did just that and read all the almost 30 entries all of you decided to write the past 2 days then I was off to clean the destroyed kitchen off mine!

I was doing pretty well when IT happened ...

I broke one of my glasses when I was loading the dishwasher!

I went to put one of the glasses in and I hit the top of one of the glasses on the bottom of the other and I heard it crack so before I sat it down in the dishwasher I looked at it ...

I saw the crack and just the touch of my fingers running SMOOTHLY across it made it fall into 2 pieces.

So I threw them into the trash bag ....

Well the trash bag at one point while I was at work had fallen down whenHunter threw something in it and didn't bother to pull it back up ...

So when I went to empty the trash can, I had to pull the bag up and when I reached in and pulled the bag up to tie it I sliced the side of my hand on the broken glass ....

(see pics below)

So those of you that don't know me that well ....

let me tell you a little secret ....

I HAVE SEIZURES!

Well at first I just thought ...

"oh it can't be that bad!"

SO I ran it under some cold water to try to get it to stop bleeding and that didn't work ...

SO, I put pressure on it with some napkins ...

STILL didn't work!

So I tried to call my BFF and talk to her ...

cuz I like to talk to people to get my mind off of it ...

but she wasn't home so I talked to her husband for about 15 mins.

Then I decided that I better see if Mike (My moms fiance) could come over and look at it.

Well he is on call (he works driving a tow truck)!

So when I called him all I got out was "Are you busy?"

"why"

"because I cut my hand & I don't know ...."

"Hold on"

SO I was on hold too long so I hung up and tried to call my other BFF and she didn't answer so I left her a message and she still hasn't called me back!

Well while I was leaving her a message Mike called back!

So I talked to him and he asked me to have Hunter look at it since I couldn't with out getting light headed!

I couldn't do that cuz he decided to leave right after I got home from work to go ride his bike!

So I FINALLY after about 30 mins got it to stop bleeding ..

So I just put a Band-Aid on it.

I hope it will heal fine!

So as I started typing this entry ...

(about a hour ago)

Hunter walked in the door with Christian

and they told me they needed a flash light ...

of course, me being the adult, I had to ask WHY

"Well this kid started chasing us for my bike. So I dumped it in the woods and now I can't find it cuz it is so dark out!"

"Well I don't have one!"

But since it was so late I decided ... again me being the adult ... that I better go with them!

Well it was so dark and we only had one flashlight for 3 people ...

we decided we would go look in the morning!

WHAT A NIGHT AFTER WORK FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ONLY IN MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!