Monday, June 5, 2006

Not Much Better

Well today was not too much better than the rest!

I opened today .... I just want to be able to sleep in ... is that too much to ask for?

I can't tomorrow because I have to work a double (9:30-9:30)!

I know I will be exhausted by wednesday .... my ONE day off this week!

Anyway ....

I had texted Mark last night and told him not to bother calling me back because I was going to bed and that I was in a really sour mood ....

normally when i say soemthing like this he will ask if I am ok and if there is anything he can do .... or whatever ....

well a whole hour went past before he had text me back and all he said was ok ....

well I tried to go to sleep but I had too much on my mind so i could not sleep .... so I layed in bed and watched the news ....

which I am glad I did so becasue there was a convist on the loose in my area ...

and I found out that they found him saturday night and he is back in jail .... so i now don't have to worry about that! YAY!

Well Mark called me .... so I answered the phone (I know even after I told him not to call) .... but that just showed that he cares ..... well I told him I was laying in bed and he asked if I was sleeping and I had told him no .... I said that I couldn't sleep .... of course he knows me all too well ... and said that he knew I would not be able too!

So we chatted for a while and we were both tired so we went to bed and I promised him that I would call him in the morning .......

So I called him once I got to my store and he was STILL sleeping so I said, "okay now I called do you want me to let you go so you can go back to sleep?"

He said no ... I asked if he was sure because he sounded really tired ....

it got real quiet and he said, "I already answered your question!"

And he said it really snappy!

So I told him, "I thnk you really need to go to bed because you are acting really moddy!"

He said that he knew I was going to say that ...

well no one was really talking ... so I told him I was going to ....

he got real pissed off and hung up ...

I shrugged my shoulders and said, "OH WELL!"

I then got my cell phone out ... thinking he did this to himself .... and text him and told him not to bother calling me back!

of course seconds later the store phone rang and I thought .... I am not answering that I know it is him and technically I do not have to answer the phone because it is before the store is opened and it's not even 9!

Well he then called my cellphone ........ he then text me and asked if we could talk ......

and I sent a little nasty text back .... so we argued and I ended up telling him that I thought it was best that we JUST be friends and stop trying to see if we can make a relationship .....

That hurt me REALLY bad .... but I think it is what is best for the both of us ........

I am hurting inside right now ... but I know that if it is meant to be then it will work later ... if not oh well!

It has been a pretty bad day because of that too ....... he kept calling me at the store ... he knew I could not avoid him there .......

Tonia told me he called while I was at Lisa's store too .... we will see if he calls after he gets off work ....

WHO KNOWS!

I just am tired of the stress and us fighting .... which I told him that I am tired of arguing with him ..... every other time we talk we fight .... and I am SICK of it!

He said that we just need space and that if we were to try for a relationship that it would have to be much later and I agreed

and he said that he also thinks that we are both looking for 2 different things right now and I agreed .... I'm not looking for anything .... but my space ....  I am TIRED of relatioship DRAMA!

I am so ANTI-GUY sometimes .... when I am not ready I am not ready! Bo doubt about it!

5 comments:

z7snowflake said...

Im so sorry that you had another bad day. Yeah I think you and Mark would be better as just friends for now and your right, if its meant to be, it'll happen. *hugs*

bmorrrick said...

Hi Theresa,

Catching up on your journal....sorry things are so stressful lately.  I'm sure it's miserable dealing with the "ups and downs" of your relationship with Mark.  How is your Mom?  Is she still in the hospital? My only advice would be....be true to YOURSELF above all else hon...then hopefully the rest will fall into place, whatever is meant to be.

Take Care,
~Bilinda~

eml625 said...

You poor thing !!!!  ((((((((HUGS))))))))

Ellen

misscarberry said...

Awww, sorry you had such a bad day. Have you told him not to phone you at work? I only ask cause I don't want you to get in trouble!
Love Sam xXx

linnpooh said...

{{{Theresa}}} I'm so sorry that things aren't working out with Mark, I know how badly you wanted them to. Just give it some time and things will unfold as they are supposed to. Nothing says that when you are both ready you won't get back together. Sometimes.....people just need time to grow up and being friends is best. Remeber how special you are though, and never settle for less than the respect and treatment that you deserve. I'll be sending good thoughts your way sweetie.....hang in there.

Pooh Hugs,
Linda~
P.S................Sorry your Mom is sick again.