Thursday, July 12, 2007

Explaination to last entry!

Okay first off let me start by saying a few things ...

1. Thanks for all your concern, it really means a lot to me! That is the reason I write here in AOL journals! You people are so amazing

2. Sorry vicki it took me so long to get here lol, my assistant called and we had to go over some things!

3. I'm sorry I was random in my last entry. I just needed to vent and I thought it would make me feel better, but it didn't!

Now onto explaining the last entry .. (and what happened this past weekend with meeting my daddy)

Okay! The last entry was written because of what happened this weekend so I will start there!

My daddy came into town sunday afternoon and he came to my house as soon as he got into town and I'll just tell you this, when I opened my door to greet him and his g/f, I was so shocked that I didn't know what to do!

I usually am a very emotional person, but I think from all the other crying I could not cry when he got here, although I felt like I wanted to!

So we talked and I showed him my apartment then we left!

It was on to surprise my grandparents!!

They had NO idea he was bringing me over, they knew he was coming but not me!

So we get there and I layed down in the backseat in case they were sitting outside and they were not.

But as soon as anyone pulls in the driveway my grandma comes out!

So she came out as we were getting out the car, so I hid behind my grandparents van! Then my dad put his arm around me and walked from behind the van and she had NO idea who I was so she just kept talking to my daddy!

Then my daddy said to her, "Do you know who this is?"
"This is Theresa!"
"OMG Girl! Get up here {she was on the porch} and give me a hug and kiss! I missed you so much! It is really good to see you!"

It got very sentimental, although I could still not cry .. I was all cried out!!

Then my grandpa and Uncle Nate was on the side working on the tractor so we walked over to say hi and I got the same reaction from my grandpa and Uncle!

It finally felt so good to be appreciated and loved by my own blood! I was so happy to see them!

Later that night I was blessed to also see my aunt Margaret and great aunt Marie {where I got my middle name from}!

Those two were so happy to see me to!

I was told by the whole family that I better NOT disappear like that again! Although they understood that it was not in my control in the first place!

I was given all my aunts and uncles phone numbers and address' and told not to be a stranger!

So there goes the outcome of the reunion!

Now as for the funeral ... my mom came of course .. and she started a HUGE scene at the funeral parlor .. about my daddy being there!

She got us kicked out cuz she would not just shut up!

So we all went outside and talked and she finally calmed down (surprised the heck out of me, I thought she was not capable of being calm)! Then we all went back in and it was all fine!

She played that she really cared about me "Theresa I love you, I miss you!"

For many of you who don't know how my mother is let me explain something ... she is VERY vindictive, lying, immature (even at the age of 48), etc.

She ONLY did that because I was with my daddy! Had I came by myself or with ANYONE else, she NEVER would have talked to me that day!

So I just gritted my teeth and just didn't say anything there!

Well I figured she was alright with everything .. then she called me tuesday night(the day after the funeral) and said she was going to kill herself b/c I was talking to my daddy!

Oh yea, that's my mom! That's how I know the lady!

I KNEW she would not be able to handle this!

She called me and A**hole! Said all I do is think of myself, I am such a horrible person/child etc. She told me she wants nothing to do with me now, she is giving me ALL pictures that have me in it, she doesn't want anything of me!

Yep this is how I know my mom and for her to act over MY life!

I told her I am 22 years old and if I feel like talking to my daddy then I am! She don't have to talk to him and love him up, I just want him and his family to be a part of my life!

My sister is pissed .. nothing new eh?!?

She was already pissed at me and hating me for almost 2 years!!! So what has this changed? NOT A THING!!!

So now do you see the psycho's I deal with in my family?

I seriously don't know how I deal with it sometimes ... and how did I come out so much better when this is what I was surrounded by? {hence my last entry .. I felt like I just couldn't take it anymore and I should just disappear and start a BRAND new life somewhere far from here and not talk to ANYONE, not even my friends when I left}

I have more I could say about the weekend but this is long enough so I will end it here ....

As always thanks for reading and enjoy the day!!!

(Currently listening to ~ Rihanna ~ Shut Up & Drive)



mrscammoman316 said...

I totally understand how you would feel so emotionally drained & overwhelmed. & its ok to vent, you need to vent. & like I said screw your mom & her hurtful immature ways. You don't need that in your life anymore!

therealslimemmy said...

im glad you got to see everyone and your mom shame on her for going psycho like are an adult and you can make your own choices and decisions.
too pad you couldnt transfer out here and come live by me ;)

tristannmbr2 said...

Oh my!  I am so sorry you have to deal with that!!  How horrible!  Tell your mom is stay out of your life also!  That makes me so mad, that she acts like that to her own daughter!  What you do is your business, not hers and if you want to have a life with your dad, then so be it!  Since I have been reading your journal, (which has been a long time) it seems like it really wouldn't matter what you do in your life, your mom and sister always seem to not like anything you do, say, or anything, so F*it!  I know the bible says honor thy parents, but give me a break!  I think God understand why you can't honor your mother!  Hope everything gets better with your mom and sister, and if it doesn't then, just live your life the best you know how and everything with fall into place.  I pray everything will be great with your dad and that side of the family.  You eserve some sort of happiness with family!
Love ya girl!

my3gifts said...

I'm first off praying for you. If your mom wants to act like a child, that's her issue, not yours (although she obviously TRIED to make it yours). She has to grow up and take responsibility for her own actions and words. You have every right to get to know your father and decide for yourself if you want a relationship with him or not. It seems to me you've never been given that opportunity and if it's a mistake then it'll be your mistake to make and it's your decision. If it's not a mistake then you have many years of getting to know him that you both missed out on and you both deserve this chance.

If your mom can't act like an adult and a mother of an adult child then you don't have to put up with it. Personally I think you've been working on boundaries with your mom/family and think you need to stick hard to those boundaries. If you have a healthy relationship with her great, but if she chooses to act this way then there's no reason to put up with it. Block her number so she can't call you, or simply don't answer her calls and let them go to voice mail so that it's your choice whether you talk to her or not.

I encourage you to be praying as you are working on developing these relationships. You're in my prayers.

God Bless Christy

z7snowflake said...

that is so horrible how ur mom did u. a parents has no right to try to keep their child from the other parent, u had no choice growing up but now u do, so do what makes u happy. *hugs*

eml625 said...

Seperate yourself from your mom and your sister. That is not normal behavior. Its sick. You have your dad and his side of the family who are welcoming you and wanting you in their lives.
You need your Dad now more than ever, can you talk to him about all this? If so , I would. Let him know what's going on. Your a sweet person that just wants to be part of a  family. Your mom is trying to ruin it and she has for the most part, but that's over now, and your moving on. Dont turn back!!!